The Violent Pacification Corporation today announced a strategic partnership with the Zionist Occupational Government and the New World Order, devoted, according to a recent press conference, to increasing consumer participation in the Global Marketplace while simultaneously increasing shareholder value.

Asked for comment, shareholders in the world's second most powerful corporation, United States of America, Inc., expressed deep anxiety over recent filings before the World Court by attorneys representing VioPac Corp. At over 500,000 pages and weighing in at 15 tons, the documents amount to a class-action lawsuit aimed at employees of US of A (VIOPAQ: COUS). According to court documents, VioPac alleges that Consumers of the American product line have shown gross negligence, incompetence, and failure to meet recently increased New World Order per capita buying quotas.

VioPac Profit Pyramid

"Let's face facts here," an indignant `Friendly' Bob Franklin said in a recent interview, "literally 88.6% of US of A Consumers aren't executing Due Diligence with regard to Global Marketplace participation." Citing figures from day 1 of US of A's operation, which began in Q2 1776, `Friendly' Bob proceeded to demonstrate how Consumers continually caused malicious damage to other competing products and trademarks.

"Let's look at the bottom line here," 'Friendly' Bob continued. "The US of A Corporation continually encourages it's consumers to place their funds- funds which rightfully belong to VioPac- in bank accounts, 401(k) plans, and so-called 'Social Security'. This represents a clear and present threat to the continued operation of the Global Economy and represents not only lack of initiative on the part of USA Consumers to purchase our products, but also demonstrates United States of America's clear abuse of monopoly power. Those monies belong in the Global Economy. They belong to VioPac. Since the US of A Corporation is unwilling to play fair, we intend to get it back by force."

US of A's charter clearly specifies the right of its Consumers to free expression, even going so far as to deny monopoly powers to its subsidiaries and competitors- a stance that VioPac executives and New World Order directors take issue with.

"We feel that relying on a two-bit afterthought to a poorly-concieved and clearly outdated charter not only damages quarterly earnings, but detracts from the fair value of our trademarks," said `Jumpin' Fred Jackson regarding one of the charter's ammendments, which specifies "Congress shall make no law... abridging the freedom of speech."

"This issue is not about taking away the rights of consumers," said `Virile' Jack Vegas in a press conference earlier this week, "it is about protecting the sovereign rights of the State from the fickle desires of its voluntary patrons." USofA's Chairman was unavailable for comment; however, Majority Shareholder Janet Reno was recently quoted in the Journal of the John Birch Society, saying "if not for those blasted ammendments, this corporation would be a viable commercial alternative to Cambodia." Some experts remain confused over her answer however, since it was given in response to the question, "have you ever met Dan Rather?"