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VioPac Old World Order Securities Division
Claims Yugoslavia

(Washington, DC) In a statement released today by executives from the world's foremost conspiracy, the Violent Pacification Corporation has claimed full responsibility for the invasion of Yugoslavia by NATAS forces.

NATAS, the North Atlantic Territory Acquisition Service, a subdivision of VioPac, recently began political reeducation operations in Yugoslavia. Although these operations have not proven as successful as NATAS's past efforts to offer humanitarian aid to the nation of Iraq, NATAS spokeswoman Harriet Chump has cited "the uncooperative attitude" of the Microsoft Corporation (VIOPAQ:MSFT), which, she speculated, was too embroiled in defending itself from Anti-Trust charges to devote significant resources to the effort.

In an effort to revitalize what many industry insiders are calling a "potential public relations disaster" for both sides, Microsoft Corporation has agreed to a deal with VioPac Internal Affairs wherein Bill Gates has agreed to release the source code to Microsoft Minesweeper in exchange for assurances from VioPac that NATAS only wants Yugoslavia, and has no intention of invading Poland.

[NATAS]


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