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Orwell Institute Hiring Sanford Wallace?

The VioPac Orwell Institute wishes to wholly and unequivocally deny that they have hired one Sanford Wallace as Associate Director for Marketing.

In a statement issued to the press on 2 May 1998, Executive Director Mike Medintz told reporters that "We have not hired Mr. Wallace. His support of large-scale advertising programs is admirable in theory, but VioPac and Wallace have been unable to reach a satisfactory agreement regarding his pay and benefits."

Mr. Wallace was subsequently found dead. It appears that he had drowned in his bathtub after shooting himself in the head twice with a Colt Single Action Army revolver. Said VioPac Executive Vice President for Security Affairs Mike S. Medintz: "I think it's obvious to all of us that Mr. Wallace was extremely careless in cleaning his pistol. His motives for doing so while bathing are not currently known, but I have ordered a full investigation."

Critics of Mr. Medintz' handling of this affair allege that such a scenario is not likely. Charges one president of KU Environs speaking on condition of anonymity "This is a crock of shit. Everybody knows that Wallace didn't have a bathtub." Rumors that the Environs president has been arrested in connection with violations of the Federal Tax Code have not been confirmed, nor have allegations that Security Affairs Executive VP Mike S. Medintz and Orwell Institute Director Mike Medintz are actually the same person.

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