Violent Pacification Disinformation Systems

A wholly dominated subsidiary of the Violent Pacification Corporation

OXFORD, OH (October 19, 1997)- Miami University of Ohio, realizing that the new RedHawks logo and nickname was about to fall flat on its face on the eve of its unveiling at Parents' Weekend, made a last minute contract with Violent Pacification Disinformation Systems to design a logo that more accurately reflects the values of the University and the surrounding city of Oxford.
	the old, "corporate-sponsored" logo.

"Well, this whole thing started up 'cause them damn Injuns got so uppity about using the nickname Redskins," said Miami University President Dr. James Garland, the newly inaugurated 20th president of the quaint university in southwestern Ohio. "It was touch and go for a while... I thought we might have to call General Custer out to clean up for us, but then we got the bright idea to change the name to RedHawks, which them Injuns found acceptable."

"That's when we realized we had a problem, " said Richard Little, senior director of university communications, and world-renowned impersonator and comedian. "SME, those hot-shots for New York, designed us these nice logos, but then we saw we had a problem. 'RedHawks?' Capital 'R' and capital 'H'? Ohmigod, It looks like the newest bird encyclopaedia CD-ROM from Microsoft! So here we were, stuck with logos with a stupid name you'd give to a virus checker program all over them, and only 12 hours until the big premiere! What do we do?"

The new "mod national socialist" logo.

"It was obvious what needed to be done," Miami Vice President of Student Affairs Dr. Myrtis Powell said, "Call VPDS."

So, VPDS designers burned the midnight oil (among other substances) and generated a fitting logo which many agree captures the "distinctive political flavor" of Miami University.

"It's great! I can't wait for the T-shirts!" one Miami sophomore exclaimed.

In keeping with the spirit of the new logo, Miami University's new mascot name will change from RedHawks to Reichshawken, with the inspirational motto: "Arbeit macht frei". The new bird, affectionately nicknamed "Rolf", will be placed on the athletic equipment of all the sporting teams at the prestigious school, founded in 1809.

After the football game Saturday, which Miami tragically lost because the heathen mongrel University of Cincinnati Bearcats cheated, there was a celebratory book burning outside of King Library to commemorate the "Retromod National Socialist" look and feel of the school. Hundreds of students, staff, faculty and area residents gathered in an impromptu goose-step march and smashed windows of area homes and businesses suspected of being owned by those not of "pure racial stock".

"It's just like the good old days," said Dietrich Fassbander, A fussball coach and commander who served in the SS in World War Two. "I had forgotten how much this sort of thing bonds people together," he added after wiping a tear from his eye.

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